I’m in a worse place now than I think I ever have been. The insides of my own mind a secure confine where the key is always ever so slightly out of reach. A trap door that leads to the same place no matter what hallway I choose. The hallway neverending.
I hear my own insecurities, doubts, fears. On loop every second of every day. Distant, yet sharp. Much like the rain hitting against my window. A constant sound that I can’t ever seem to drown out.
And then I look at her. She’s warm and soft. Comforting. Like hot cocoa on nights where just walking from her car to the house numbs our fingertips. I feel her the way that I feel the warmth of the sun in short moments when it finally gets the chance to peek through the clouds on spring days. She so desperately wants to be the warmest, happiest being in my life. And she is. But my life is so cloudy that she only gets to shine in moments. I only let her shine in moments.
I probably don’t deserve her. And by probably, I mean definitely. But I’m still so fucking thankful that she’s here. And that she stayed.
